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Thursday, August 23, 2007


Ok ... It's been a while since I last posted... & that was pointed out to me by my Detective Sargeant Friend...

Geez, pal.. I got a life... regardless how lame it is...

Peeks & Valleys... That's what life is about....


The euphoricTranquility of Happiness of your Peeks & the utter Gut Wrenching Pain of your Valleys determines your life. (In my humble opinion)

Yesterday I buried a cat. End of story.


If you have ever had a cat, or still do, heck,... any type of pet.. read on... If not, you are satisfied with my sentence above, go click another blog...

It's a long story... so grab so Coffee, Cocktail or Tissues... Back in the day when the Egyptians domesticated cats.... Who would have thought we'd have PETA & Pet Cemetary's or Adoptions at a Pet Store.... Certainly not Egyptian Pharaohs thousands of years back... But it is this domestication that worked for the feral cats, food & shelter, cats are smart, that's why most have homes...

But for most of you, whether you know it or not, there is a huge population of wild cats living practically everywhere.

My Wife's mission; SAVE THEM ALL... (quite honestly she surely can't save them all, but she will die trying)

Seven or eight years ago, while riding horses at the Overpeck Stables in NJ, the Ferrier, (Theperson who Shoes Horses) was doing his thing, when his German Shepard started wandering around the grounds, lo & behold a bunch of 3 weeks kittens to pounce on...

My wife, Fast on her feet, chased the dog, (oops..the BAD dog), away from the litter.. Somehow saving 3 of the remaining newborn furballs. She was able to safely bring them to an office and protect and nurture them until she was able to find ALL of them homes. I wasn't there, but I can assure you she yelled at the dog & the Ferrier...

She had success with 2 of the 3, and of course the third one would find it's way into our home. My wife brought home this way too little gray furball with white feet, and I swear to you, he was no bigger than my hand. His head of course was hard to keep up, it was the biggest Cat knoggin I'd ever seen. Hopefully one day his body would grow into his head.

This cat was setup in the "Cat Room" of our house, so derived as having cat pictures and wood sculptures of felines. Before you think of robbing my house, these weren't that type of art... they were just for decoration in our Guest Room. Of course Uncle Phil, my wife's Uncle was the only one ever to
stay in the room, and it's annually Christmas Night. He has cats so the extra hair doesn't bother him.

So this little motorized kitten needed a name, my wife proceeded to inform me that she was excellent at naming cats, and needed a few days to see his personality then name him. She assured me that any suggestion I had would be duly noted. I thought and decided "Winston", figuring Churchill was a good role model for this new member of the family. My wife's impartial response..."NO..we are not naming him after a cigarette"... Duly Noted.

Because he had four white paws, she came up with "Nike" as he was wearing Phil Knight's newest style White Hightops. Nike, as great a cat as he was, was a great kitten. Full of energy and very lovable. In the beginning, he ate baby food, not Purina but Beechers... He was probably too young to be away from his mom's milk, but he had to drink some from the bowl and when he did, it would run down his chin, it's then I came up with "Blue Beard" because with the milk and his g
ray fur... My wife quickly replied, "NO...his name is Nike"...

He was a crazy kitten, biting constantly, of course his mini teeth did no harm. As he grew, he became calmer, then he kept growing. He was a huge cat. Fun & loving but big. I would pick him up and tell him how good he was, he seemed to like that, but I had to rest him on my right shoulder, he was big & heavy. He was a great cat, & I am grateful for the time he was with us. I'm certainly positive he loved where he lived. He was in Cat Heaven. He got Tempation Treats, always had a full bowl of crunchies, (served in the Kermie Crunchy Bowl, with Kermit the frog plastic statue watching him eat around the bowl. He had his run of the house, as do the others..

He always had a feminine voice, it was strange from such a big cat. He was happy to the end. This past Sunday my wife noticed him breathing funny, and took him to the vet, by Tuesday, his heart & Kidneys gave out. Sorrow filled our home and I know he will never be
forgotten.

My opening comments about the peaks & valley's, really hit home. Yes he was taken from us too soon, but he barely made into his 3rd week if not for my wife. He gave us, and we gave him 7 great years.. so the Valley we were in yesterday, doesn't compare to the Peaks we had with Nike...

Now, if any of you have a stray cat, please don't call my wife....

We still have Bobby, Peaches & Joy, and of course Sylvester who has attached himself to our back deck. so we have enough right now...

The next post will be happier...I promise..

Say Goodbye to Nike


Ok ... It's been a while since I last posted... & that was pointed out to me by my Detective Sargeant Friend...

Geez, pal.. I got a life... regardless how lame it is...

Peaks & Valleys... That's what life is about....


The euphoric Tranquility of Happiness of your Peaks & the utter Gut Wrenching Pain of your Valleys determines your life. (In my humble opinion)

Yesterday I buried a cat. End of story.


If you have ever had a cat, or still do, heck,... any type of pet.. read on... If not, you are satisfied with my sentence above, go click another blog...

It's a long story... so grab some Coffee, Cocktail or Tissues... Back in the day when the Egyptians domesticated cats.... Who would have thought we'd have PETA & Pet Cemetary's or Adoptions at a Pet Store.... Certainly not Egyptian Pharaohs thousands of years back... But it is this domestication that worked for the feral cats, food & shelter, cats are smart, that's why most have homes...

But for most of you, whether you know it or not, there is a huge population of wild cats living practically everywhere.

My Wife's mission; SAVE THEM ALL... (quite honestly she surely can't save them all, but she will die trying)

Seven or eight years ago, while riding horses at the Overpeck Stables in NJ, the Ferrier, (The person who Shoes Horses) was doing his thing, when his German Shepard started wandering around the grounds, lo & behold a bunch of 3 weeks kittens to pounce on...

My wife, Fast on her feet, chased the dog, (oops..the BAD dog), away from the litter.. Somehow saving 3 of the remaining newborn furballs. She was able to safely bring them to an office and protect and nurture them until she was able to find ALL of them homes. I wasn't there, but I can assure you she yelled at the dog & the Ferrier...

She had success with 2 of the 3, and of course the third one would find it's way into our home. My wife brought home this way too little, gray furball with white feet, and I swear to you, he was no bigger than my hand. His head of course was hard to keep up, it was the biggest Cat knoggin I'd ever seen. Hopefully one day his body would grow into his head.

This cat was setup in the "Cat Room" of our house, so derived as having cat pictures and wood sculptures of felines. Before you think of robbing my house, these weren't that type of art... they were just for decoration in our Guest Room. Of course Uncle Phil, my wife's Uncle was the only one ever to
stay in the room, and it's annually Christmas Night. He has cats so the extra hair doesn't bother him.

So this little motorized kitten needed a name, my wife proceeded to inform me that she was excellent at naming cats, and needed a few days to see his personality then name him. She assured me that any suggestion I had would have would be duly noted. I thought and decided "Winston", figuring Churchill was a good role model for this new member of the family. My wife's impartial response..."NO..we are not naming him after a cigarette"... Duly Noted.

Because he had four white paws, she came up with "Nike" as he was wearing Phil Knight's newest style White Hightops. Nike, as great a cat as he was, was a great kitten. Full of energy and very lovable. In the beginning, he ate baby food, not Purina but Beechers... He was probably too young to be away from his mom's milk, but he had to drink some from the bowl and when he did, it would run down his chin, it's then I came up with "Blue Beard" because with the milk and his g
ray fur... My wife quickly replied, "NO...his name is Nike"...

He was a crazy kitten, biting constantly, of course his mini teeth did no harm. As he grew, he became calmer, then he kept growing. He was a huge cat. Fun & loving but big. I would pick him up and tell him how good he was, he seemed to like that, but I had to rest him on my right shoulder, he was big & heavy. He was a great cat, & I am grateful for the time he was with us. I'm certainly positive he loved where he lived. He was in Cat Heaven. He got Tempation Treats, always had a full bowl of crunchies, (served in the Kermie Crunchy Bowl, with Kermit the frog plastic statue watching him eat around the bowl). He had his run of the house, as do the others..

He always had a feminine voice, it was strange from such a big cat. He was happy to the end. This past Sunday my wife noticed him breathing funny, and took him to the vet, by Tuesday, his heart & Kidneys gave out. Sorrow filled our home and I know he will never be
forgotten.

My opening comments about the peaks & valley's, really hit home. Yes he was taken from us too soon, but he barely made it into his 3rd week if not for my wife. He gave us, and we gave him 7 great years.. so the Valley we were in yesterday, doesn't compare to the Peaks we had with Nike...

Now, if any of you have a stray cat, please don't call my wife....

We still have Bobby, Peaches & Joy, and of course Sylvester who has attached himself to our back deck. so we have enough right now...

The next post will be happier...I promise..

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

The GS26 Girl of the Week



Today's entry is actress, Anne Hathaway. The first time I saw her was in "The Devil Wear's Prada"... Ok, so I watched the movie... There was nothing else on, and amazingly, it was good! Anne is a very pretty woman, and I'm sure we will see more of her in movies soon. So enjoy....

Saturday, August 11, 2007

The Chocolate Chip Cookie & New Levi Jeans

This is a good one, actually a little bit better told when you see me in person, the physical gestures really make it good, but since I'm here....and your not... I'll just have to tell you with some detail...

I manage a restaurant, it's called The Fan Restaurant & Sports Bar, I work long hours. To play tricks with myself, a year so back I would treat myself to a 6 inch round chocolate chip cookie at the end of the day....if I actually made it thru the day.. So every night I'd have one of these scrumpious cookies. If I was heading home, I would heat it up in the kitchen with the toaster oven & I gotta tell ya..... There ain't nothin' better than a warm chocolate chip cookie at 2 am.

If I stayed overnite, I would have to eat it as it was... Still not bad... After all.. It's a Chocolate Chip Cookie...

Driving home one night late, cell phone plugged in to charge, Sirius radio tuned to Howard 100, Chocolate cookie on my right as my passenger, (I did entertain thoughts of buckling the seat belt to protect it, but opted to cover the plastic bag holding the prize with the day's newspaper). Planning my only day off, I had decided I needed another pair or two Levi's, I'm fortunate to be able to wear them for work, but they don't last as long if you don't rotate them.. So as I'm dodging late nite grazing deer & caffeine driven CT State Troopers lurking behind the next bend, I planned my trip to Woodbury Commons.

Do you know about Woodbury Commons? It's an outlet mall, where the professonal shopper does extremely well. Families plan 2 day trips in minivan caravans to shop for the holidays. I try to zip up the NY Thruway, get my garb & scat.. They have a Levi outlet, so it's important to try things on and inspect them for glaring defects... Then head back south in a hurray...

By now I'm cruising west on the Merritt Parkway, confidant that the upcoming day is planned. I feel like a reward... Looking to my passenger seat, I remember the prize, my chocolate chip cookie who is eagerly waiting to be warmed up on a little metal rack, then devoured in a sweet tasting frenzy. I tell myself to wait... and for a moment I have slayed the stomach churning beast. A few more exits, a rest area, another grazing deer.... my mouth starts to water, I'm starting to get what the Truckers call "White Line Fever", except the only images in my windshield look remarkably like chocolate chip cookies. I nervously look to the seat, "cookie is still there"... I continue on my way...

Side note: I hate to eat in my car when driving at night, you always seem to drop some on you, & you never notice until you get out of the car, and lettuce or crumbs topple off your lap as get out of the car. It's a little embarassing if you park near someone..

A few more miles, an occassional yawn... I can't take it anymore.. I'm eating the Cookie!

I slow down my speed to concentrate on eating the cookie, and as I drive by certain blind spot I see a Trooper waiting in the shadows. What a site he saw... Interior light on, the plastic hoop handles of the bag resting around my ears, like a thoroughbred's feedbag, I carefully bite ino my prize. Using my lips, that even Mick Jagger would be proud, I'm encompassing the edges of the cookie with my stretched lips to prevent the small crumb like particles from dropping ...and wasting precious cookie... My Fall-Safe is the bag that is looped around my ears, my quick thoughts assure me that Mr. Spock would have the best ears for this type of eating.. A mere minute or so later... my cookie is gone & I am confidant I protected myself from dropping cookie crumbs.

I arrive in NJ safe, full & ready for sleep....

The next day, I head to the Bagel Shop, to see my friends & shoot the sh*t about whatever over a cup of coffee. It's summer time so I'm in my shorts, my legs look like bleached Hotel sheets or maybe a shade lighter, but it's the summer so what the heck. I stop home and tell my wife I'm heading to Woodbury, she says she could use a pair of jeans, but doesn't really want to go. I assure her, that I will look for her.

I jumped in my car, white legged & shorted for my quest for jeans. I get to the outlet, and find parking, which 6 months before Santa Season, is still extremely challenging. I head in the Levi outlet and decide to look for my wifes jeans first... I do a mental rundown of the size & style she wanted. I'm a good husband I really want to find a pair that she will love.

A side note once again: I have never been to Africa, I haven't really been anywhere, not lately, but have you ever seen a giraffe? Me neither, but these are docile beautiful works of natures art. Besides their skyscraping necks, they have tremendously long legs, & beautiful spots. My wife's neck is normal, and she doesn't have any spots, (not for at least 20 more years before the liver spots appear), but she does have the legs to rival that of a giraffe. Now, don't get angry with me, her legs are much more shapely & toned, but for for sheer height... they're right there...

So... back to the Levi store... Searching for a good 45 minutes, but being unsuccessful, due to the length of the pants for which I'm searching. I finally ask the salewoman, who is leering behind me, I think to myself, "she probably thinks I'm looking for womans jeans for myself", I tend to over analyze... It's probably nothing.. I head over to the mens department & spend another 20 or so minutes picking out 4 or 5 good jean prospects, I will have to try them on... as I have a weird shape myself, one that is NOT comparable to an animal, no animal is this unfortunate...

With my fresh pairs I head to the dressing room, you have to try them on in an outlet store because they all fit little different here due to the quality control, but not before looking at some belts, I make a note to stop and check the belts again when I cash out... I walk thru a bunch of other shoppers, some are looking at me, I have that face, I always look like someone else, so I'm kind of used to it. Once in my dressing room, I drop my shorts, and hang them on the hook, so that my money & keys don't fall out.. It was then I noticed the horror. All over the back of my shorts, on the seat of the garment are big dark melted chocolate stains. Hot flashes immediately hit like gut punches... Sweat beats up on my forehead, err check that... fivehead... I am mortified, I've been walking around in the store for over an hour with big dark stains on the seat of my shorts.... At this point I want to run outside the dressing room and preach to all... "It's ok...It's just chocolate" but I think for a moment and realize it will just bring more attention to myself... I quickly try a few jeans on, sweat still pouring off me like Niagara Falls, I scurry to the register, bypassing the belts, damn I could really use another belt too.

After I pay I carry the bag behind covering up the stained shorts, like I'm a shy model in a miniskirt, passing a construction site... Nervously smiling I make my way back to the car & proceed to wipe off my car seat of any possible remnants, although I'm convinced it's all on the shorts... I drive back home, slunk down low in the seat, in case any of those Levi patrons are driving my way....

Once home I scrub the seat again with windex & paper towel. I change into clean shorts and continue on with my daily errands. Later that nite, though still mortified, I get ready to take my wife for dinner, I change into my pants, I notice the second pair of shorts I changed into, still are covered with chocolate. What is happening to me, is this some type of powerful gallactic monster that won't go away. I can't fight it... It's... just.. too...strong........

Right before I take my wife out for dinner, I'm still scrubbing the seat of my car, I place a towel which I have snuck out of the house. Cover my seat and hope that no one at the restaurant points and says "that's the guy that had poop all over his pants today"...

The moral of the story, don't eat a cookie in the car late at nite... or be perpared for the consequences....

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Yes.. I think my wife is trying to Kill me....



This is nothing new... I've been suspecting this for years.. She masks her sinister plans under the pretense of EXERCISE. Who is she kidding, it's just another opportunity to "push me off the cliff"...which coincidently could have happened yesterday.

I work too many hours, but c'est la vie... That's the restaurant/bar business, but on my only day off, Wednesday, my wife & I spend time together, if I had my druthers, it would be 3 boxes of Goobers, a Coke & a Big Screen Movie, followed by a Nap & Pizza... Ms. Jaqueline La Lane, feels otherwise.

Yesterday's attempt at my Jabba the Hut Transformation to Brad Pitt was at The State Lookout, in Alpine NJ, bordering into the New York Line. Every week we try & hit a different park. Our mission was to get to the Peanut Falls, We've been close a few weeks back. But not knowing the path well we deciced to turn back. Yesterday we were determined to find it. Much like the exporers of yesteryear searching for the "Fountain of Youth" we would succeed.

A little side note, I am a MAN that loves SPEED. Can't get enough of it, Car, Boat, Plane, etc... But get me 1 step up on a ladder and I turn into a Shaking, Sweating, Babbling Wuss... So Heights are not my forte..

Back to the Hike... We were, with no exagerration... 100 miles above the Hudson River, Granted at 47 my vision isn't what it once was, but it seemed like a 100 miles... On a stretch of rock called, Englewood Cliffs, (am I drawing a picture here or what), it's beautiful, don't get me wrong, but scary as hell from Mr. Feet on Ground. Our descent to the Peanut Falls, took us into 2 foot drops all the way down. At 6 feet tall and a pound or two over 220, you should have seen my transformation into a Daddy Long Legs, Using arms, and legs, and hovering my back to just above the rock, you'd have thought I should have been in that Spiderman movie instead of Toby McGuire.

Quite the site I must say, not to mention it's 100 degrees, At every step is a drop off, of certain doom. The good news for the wife, if I don't slip off the edge, maybe the massive stress induced coronary will do the trick. With my own sweat making my hands slippery I miraculously made it to the bottom... We finally made it to the bottom of Peanut Falls, yeah it was worth it, my wife proceeded to sit and soak her feet in the bottom of the Falls, asked if I wanted to do the same, I replied...No. I stood on the rock bank of the Hudson River like Gilligan waiting for help to arrive. It was then that I realized I had to hike back up the cliffs to get to the car.

Oh yeah, certain death for sure...

She talked a bit about ...well about what, I'm not sure.. I was looking around for shelter, obviously I would have to stay the nite... I wanted to make sure I had someplace to sleep....

I saw a snake and remembered that besides the whole Height Issue, I didn't like snakes.... So I decided to go with her back the dangerous path to freedom... The climb up wasn't as bad as the descent, partly because I was focused on the ground in front of me. As we climbed back up the stepped rocks, I realized this is where that coronary was going to happen. Listen I am on my feet 14 hours a day, running to the kitchen, in the dining room, in the bar, etc etc... but climbing 2 foot rock steps is a little more strenuous. She said "how's your knee", (Having surgery on it a few months back), she took my quietness for "OK".. All I could mutter was "uhhh", which now after the fact really meant, "The Knee feels great, however this climb is kicking the last bit of air out of my raisin sized lungs, so don't make me waste it on words.."

Needless to say, I made it, lost about 20lbs of sweat, a few fingernails... & some spit ...but I am back at work.... I am looking forward to another 6 days of 14 plus hours, until the next day off... when......I think my wife is trying to kill me.....


Tuesday, August 7, 2007

It's a Great time of year....


Ah..Yes.... A Wonderful time indeed... Baseball is gearing up for it's stretch drive, and The Yankees are climbing to respectability... The NFL has opened Training Camps, and the JETS are looking like this is the year to slay the Patriot Dragon, (Please Note: Biased JET Fan at the helm). The weather is Great.... I got my health... What more can I ask for??

Actually, quite a bit more.... but this isn't a Personal rant station, it's a simple Blog about ...whatever... I don't want to alienate my readers, (you both know who you are)...

Let's get to the Yankees... Phil Hughes just came back, and we know he'll be around a long time... But they just called up Joba Chamberlain, An American Indian that throws it approximately 234 mph, Ok maybe I exaggerated a hair... This kid looks like a Defensive Lineman from the University of Nebraska... Let's see what he does with his Wampum Arm....

With 50 or so games to play, the Yankees are definitely in the hunt. We want the Division Crown, but I guess we'll settle for the Wild Card ticket. The Bats have come alive. A-Rod has gotten the Big Number Monkey off his muscular back and is ready to power up for the stretch. Jeter, stellar and a consumate Yankee pro, is doing what he always does... Posada, having the time of his life, is swinging a hot branch these days. Matsui, Abreu, Melky & Cano are tuned in... With Giambi coming back soon and the kids in the bullpen, I feel giddy, Geez, I almost welcome Carl Pavano back.... well....almost....

Hovering over Hofstra University out on the Island, Eric Man-Genius has his Training Camp II where he wants to be. The players know what to expect and almost all of them have prepared for it. Mangini has opened the workload door almost halfway. These Jets, much like last year, will not quit, they play hard, play as a team and have all been sold on the Program... Except of course Darrelle Revis & Pete Kendall..

My take on these two are as follows: Revis, sign the friggin' contract 5 or 6 years, who cares, you could be injured in week 2 and done...

Pete... because I'm a loyal guy, maybe too loyal... you deserve the money... He earned it, playing hurt, taking a restructure deal, and grooming his linemates to take his job... What's a Million bucks mean... Nothing, raise the soda 20 more cents, in the Stadium... That can easily cover it...

Now it's easy for me to preach, so I will.... Darrelle, sign the contract buddy... The longer you wait the longer it takes you to break into the lineup.. You are playing in the biggest stage in the world, East Rutherford... check that... NYC area. Your endorsement capabilities are immense.. get your butt into camp and start doing what we all know you can DO...

I'm signing off for now... I gotta go run a restaurant....

Saturday, August 4, 2007

GS26 Girl of the Week


Let's be honest here... T & A sells... You can't sell a Car without a beautiful woman.... You can't sell a beer without a Hot Chick, you can't sell a glass of milk without the Farmer's Daughter in a pair of cutoff overalls....

You get the picture right??

Feel free to requests someone you want

In the mean time.... ENJOY... Ms. Angelina Jolie....

Do you know how many woman I dated that looked liked her...?


NONE....

Welcome to The GS26 Report


My first attempt at Blogging... How's it going so far??

Ok maybe it's a little early for judgement. This Blog will be a spot for Sports, Current Events, Entertainment & just about anything you want it to be....

First off, I'm a Yankee Fan... Deal with it! Congratulations is in order for Mr. Alex Rodriguez, who became the youngest ever to hit 500 homeruns. He came in at 32 years & 8 days, beating out Jimmie Foxx, a/k/a "Double X", by 330 days or so. If you've never heard of Jimmie Foxx, a fixture at First for the Connie Mack driven Philadelphia Athletics, then do some research, he was a heck of a ballplayer he also played with the Red Sox, where he hit his 500th dinger. If you ever saw "A League of Their Own" the Tom Hanks Character, Jimmie Dugan was supposedly based on Foxx

So as I was saying.... The Yankees have been playing decent ball as of late, the bats have certainly come alive. Pitching still is and should be a concern. Kyle Farnsworth, an imposing figure on the mound can't get into a groove, he'll tell you it's from lack of use. Whatever the reason, he ain't doing the job. The kid Phil Hughes is back on the mound & thank goodness for that, it's always nice to get an injection of youth, as evidenced by Roger Clemens who is closer to joining AARP than to his youth....

I am happy with Brian Cashman's job with the team, he has restored confidence in the farm system, and to some degree has done restocking as well. Of course if he had traded 3 Slugs & a Rock & got Eric Gagne & Mark Texiera then I'd vote him in as Govenor.

A quick side note... I may say this one stinks, or that one can't hit, maybe even that guy shouldn't be in the Majors... But the truth is I peaked in Baseball in 1971, it was in the Orange Little League, I played and Starred I might add, with Orange Quality Foods, & was picked to start the All Star Game as the Minor League "B" starting Pitcher against the Minor League "A" team, rest assured, I know I have never been, nor every be at any of these guys level. I wasn't even as good as the first guy cut in Rookie League, but I do have an opinion and since this is my blog, you have to read it...

Thx for entertaining yourselves here... and check back for more rantings of a lunatic

Signing off for now....


GS26